Master The Art Of Writing Wedding Thank You Notes
For many newlyweds, the act of personally writing a bunch of thank you notes, each with its individual gift to contend with, becomes a monumental task when it’s not done as soon as possible. Many brides will tell you that in the frenzied days prior to the wedding ceremony right down to the honeymoon, all their energy reserves are practically depleted. It’s no wonder writing the correct wedding thank you notes for the right wedding gift becomes such a huge chore.
How do you avoid running the risk of failing to give this much anticipated missive as a token of your appreciation to the gift giver? The wedding thank you notes fall under post-wedding obligations that has to be done as soon as possible, or risk an etiquette faux pas. The longer you put it off, the more stressful it becomes. Some brides even confessed that their own mothers and mothers-in-law took offense because their oversight reflected badly on the parents too!
Below are frequently asked questions from stressed out brides, and a guide to make mastering this wedding obligation an easy task for you!
What is the purpose of a formal wedding thank you note?
Thoughtful thank you notes for weddings are expressly written for the sole purpose of graciously thanking your wedding guests for their presence during the wedding, and for the wedding gifts they’ve sent in any form such as products, cash, and a donation to your favorite charity, services, and anything that was given freely.
To whom should I send it to?
While it is obviously intended as an acknowledgement and appreciation of the gift, you can also send thank you notes to people who celebrated your wedding day but didn’t have any gift to give. Keep in mind that some guests might be in a financial bind, and having their presence is a gift itself. In the event of a destination wedding where guests paid for their own way, a thank you note is in order.
Are there other people I need to send a thank you note to?
While you’re not required to formally thank your vendors, a personally written note to thank them for exemplary service during your wedding ceremony and reception will be very much appreciated.
What kind of paper do I use when writing individual wedding thank you notes?
Formal thank you notes addressed to your wedding guests should be written in a stationery, with stationery being the operative word. Ditch the pre-printed cards, or the fill-in-the-blanks cards. Opt for a coordinating stationery for elegant wedding thank you notes when you order your wedding invitation cards, RSVP cards, and save the date cards. See below for thank you cards design inspiration.
Who writes the formal wedding thank you notes?
Gone are the days when wedding correspondence is the bride’s responsibility. Sign up your spouse to write wedding thank yous with you. The best way to do this is to divide the obligations according to the people you know. Let him write to the people he knows, his friends, co-workers, and distant family members. TIP: To make your notes uniform, agree on a template. Mention the gift, make a complimentary comment about it, and how you’ll use it, and sign in a similar manner such as “The Gibbs” or Don and Kiara (Gibbs) or “Mr. and Mrs. Donald Gibbs”
What do I write on a thank you note?
Avoid the perfunctory and generic words of thanks such as: “We love your wedding gift so much! It’s a nice addition to our home!”People can intuit you’re sending the notes largely because you’re obliged to do so. Instead, invest in a little time to compose your thoughts. Make your notes personal, sincere and complimentary.
Here’s a simple formula you can use:
- Keep the salutation informal unless the recipient is an acquaintance of your parents, in this case, use honoraries like “Dear Mr. and Mrs. Blake.”
- Mention the gift in detail, such as the brand, quantity, pattern, and color.
- If it’s cash, mention how you’ll use it such as, “Rob and I are grateful for your gift. It will go towards a new couch.”
- If it’s a donation to your favourite charity, mention in what manner the charity will use the donation. “Your donation to (name of charity) will go towards funding a playground for inner city kids.”
- Make an allusion to the future before you close with your signatures. “We’re excited to see you next summer!”
- Close with thanking the giver, insert your regards, and write your name. You’re done!
See example below:
Dear Aunt Bess,
Only you would have the thoughtful foresight to know how much we’d need a robovac. It has been a hectic time after the wedding, but we’re on top of house chores with the cute red Roomba robot vacuum you sent! I’m never looking at a traditional vacuum ever again.
We’re so glad you came to our wedding. We hope to see you again on Thanksgiving day! From the bottom of our hearts, Rob and I thank you!
Rob and Cynthia (Forster)
Need more ideas? About.com Weddings have more suggestions.
When should you pen it?
The longer you put off writing your wedding thank you notes, the heavier it sits at the back of your mind until it becomes a crippling thought, and you forego sending out thank you notes for your wedding completely. Think of writing your thank you notes as part of your wedding planning. Set a date after your wedding where you can sit down and write your thank yous without distractions. One of the best tips from smart brides is to write your thank you notes for wedding gifts as soon as the gifts have arrived. Anticipate this by ordering coordinating thank you notes with your wedding invitations and save the date cards. This chips away at the task, making it easier for you to write the rest of the notes after your honeymoon.
When should you post wedding thank you notes?
Mail your notes as soon as you possibly can. Your wedding guests, family and friends excitedly look forward to receiving this formal, written note from you, and read your reaction to their gift. Take note that you really don’t have the luxury of 365 days with which to post your thank you notes. Etiquette prescribes a three month period with which to comply with this post wedding obligation. Think about it, the sooner you get it out of the way, the less worry you’ll have, the more time you’ll gain to settle down and start your married life with your spouse!
When is it alright to send a gift acknowledgement card?
Gift acknowledgement cards do not in any way take the place of a thank you note for wedding gifts. They are used to buy you more time to write your personal thank you’s. The only time it’s acceptable to send a gift acknowledgement cards is when the bride and groom has a large wedding and it is practically improbable for them to pen a personal thank you note right away, or they’re having an extended honeymoon trekking across the world.
What not to include in your hand written wedding thank you note:
Do not in any way complain about a gift even if it doesn’t suit your taste, or you have absolutely no practical use for it. Avoid hurting the sender’s feelings at all cost. Be tactful and find a nice compliment for the gift. If it’s a hideous matching sweater set, mention how you look forward to wearing it next winter.
Many couples who put off writing thank you notes for the wedding gifts often feel the need to be effusive in their wording. There is absolutely no need to include a comprehensive update of your life, your future plans, or reminisce an event in the past.This is better off written in a separate letter.
In general, the handwritten thank you note is still the classiest way to thank everyone for the gifts received on your wedding. It is a long standing rule you shouldn’t break, unless being in poor taste and ill-mannered is your cup of tea. Set aside time to pen your wedding thank you notes, and don’t forget to post them. Your wedding guests will be appreciative of your consideration and thoughtfulness! We hope this article proved useful for you.
Feel free to browse more articles for helpful wedding preparation tips and guides! Make post-wedding obligations less of a chore by planning ahead.
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